Abstract art and a Ford F-150 pickup truck are two things that absolutely do not belong together, and, in fact, have probably never been uttered in the same breathe. Imagine my surprise when I walked outside on Sunday morning with a hangover and saw what looked like a Jackson Pollack painting on the hood of my truck.
Actually, a bunch of local birds had been feasting on the red berries on the big holly tree under which I park. What a feast it must have been because the hood was covered with holly stones, crushed berries, twigs, and bird shit. So I did what anyone with an inquisitive mind and an interest in art would do: I grabbed my camera and snapped a few photos.
It’s clear to me that owning a white truck will present cleanliness issues that I never had with a red Volvo. Heck, those holly berries blended right in.
I’m envisioning four options for dealing with this.
1. I become one of those macho guys who washes his truck every weekend out in front of the house. Of course, if I want to do it right, I’ll need to lose twenty pounds so I can strut around bare chested in cut-offs and flaunting a big hose.
2. I take advantage of the environment and begin creating and selling a series of "organic abstract photos." If people buy art produced by monkeys, convicts, and people who paint with their toes, why not from some over-stimulated birds? I'm afraid, though, it might be too complex or too cutting edge for the Rehoboth market. Our tourists seem to prefer seagulls, waves, and lighthouses. If you doubt me, go take a look at some of the "beach art" that sells down on Rehoboth Avenue.
3. I avoid cleaning the truck altogether and document its filthy and physical decline. The truck as art. It might eventually achieve that rare “crackel” finish that some people – mostly enthusiasts of Japanese pottery -- like so much. Then I'd be able to sell it at a good price.
4. I avoid parking under the holly tree. Probably the easiest option, but where’s the story in that?
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